SHALOMER:

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Philemon Devotionals

So I am going to begin sharing a string of devotionals I have written for a local church, in case anyone else can find them useful.  Here are the Philemon devotionals:


Philemon

Day 1: What is the Story?

This week we are going to dive into one of those postcard books of the New Testament, Philemon.  This first day we are going to spend a few minutes familiarizing ourselves with the story behind this letter, at least what we can gather of it. 

Begin by reading the book of Philemon carefully (it’s only one short chapter).

As is the case with any book of the Bible, there are varying opinions about what is going on in this letter, but most understand this letter in basically the same way.  This is a letter written by Paul and sent to Philemon, written on behalf of Onesimus.  We can’t know the entire back story, but what we can gather from the letter is that Philemon was a wealthy and influential member of his community, he was a leader in the church (which met in his home), and he was mentored by Paul in the faith.  Most likely Philemon lived in Colossae, since Paul addresses Archippus in both the introduction to this letter and in his instructions to the Colossians (Col. 4:17). 

During this time wealthy members of culture usually owned slaves, a perfectly acceptable practice then.  Slave owners are often implored by Paul in the New Testament to treat their slaves fairly and with dignity.  At the same time, Paul emphasized that in Christ there is no longer slave or free—we are all one in Christ (Galatians 3:26-29).  We see in this letter a balance of these perspectives. 

Most scholars are in agreement that Onesimus was Philemon’s slave, and he had probably run away from his master.  Paul confirms that Onesimus was “useless” to Philemon (v. 11), but now emphasizes that he is useful.  Though he was his slave, Paul implores Philemon to treat him no longer as a slave but as a dear brother (v. 16).  Though Onesimus had probably wronged Philemon and owed him a great debt (v. 18), Paul asks Philemon to “put it on his own tab.”  Through this strong, not so subtle request, Paul is reminding Philemon that he himself is in great debt to Paul, who sacrificed much to share the good news about Jesus with him.  In other words, Paul is invoking his authority over Philemon as his “father in the faith” in this request, and is asking him to wipe out the debt of Onesimus. 

He is couching this invocation of authority in deferential terms, praising Philemon for his love and obedience.  After a little bit of this “buttering up,” he makes his strong request for Philemon to obey him and forgive Onesimus.  Paul also seeks to assure Philemon’s cooperation by addressing this letter not only to him but also to the entire Colossian church.  The whole church would hear Paul’s request for Philemon to forgive Onesimus and treat him as a brother, so no matter what Onesimus had done to wrong him, it is almost certain that Philemon would let it go. 

Paul closes with the real kicker in verse 22.  He says, “And one thing more: Prepare a guest room for me, because I hope to be restored to you in answer to your prayers.”  Wow.  Paul must have really cared about Onesimus, because he had laid it on thick!

It is easy to see this “postcard” letter of the New Testament as only a directive of Paul to Philemon without much spiritual value, but that view is mistaken.  We can learn many important lessons from this short letter, and we will dive into those lessons over the next few days.

What important lessons do you think we can learn from this letter after reading through it?  



Have you ever been wronged in a serious way, so that you would have a hard time even seeing the person who wronged you?  Are there certain wrongs you refuse to forgive?  How does this correlate with Paul’s words to Philemon?


Have you ever wronged someone in a serious way and realized that you will probably never be forgiven for it?  When you think of this, what do you think of Paul’s words to Philemon?


Spend some time in prayer, asking God to use even this small letter in his Word to impact your life.  Spend some time communicating with God, both sharing your heart and listening to his voice.



Day 2: Constrained By Community

“This is most certainly not a private letter, even though
its message is directed at Philemon.”[1]

As we talked about yesterday, this letter was not merely addressed to Philemon.  Paul also addresses the letter to Apphia, Archippus, and the church that met in Philemon’s home (v. 2).  By mentioning the house church in the greeting (which Paul does in no other New Testament letter), he “turns what might have been a private letter into a public appeal and perhaps democratizes to some degree the way the Onesimus matter is to be handled if Philemon is not to lose face with his fellow house church members… The eyes of the church will be on him, watching how he responds to Paul’s appeal.”[2]

This is important, and this is the lesson we are going to explore today.  If we are followers of Christ, we do not merely sign up to be individual Christians.  We sign up to be a part of something far bigger than ourselves, a part of the community of believers.  We do not and cannot follow Christ by ourselves; we follow Christ together. 

Therefore, our decisions must not be made on our own, in a vacuum.  They must be made in company with those we are following Christ with.  We must open our lives and open our ears and open our hearts to hear what our brothers and sisters in Christ are saying.  We must be honest about our challenges and struggles and listen to the advice and encouragement of our fellow Christians.

Is this something you find easy or difficult?  Do you tend to seek the advice of others or treat personal issues as if they are strictly personal and confidential?  Are you open to sharing your life, including your struggles, with your fellow Christians?  Are you open to hearing what they have to say to you on such matters?




The church at Colossae would have watched Philemon’s response to Paul.  They would surely have expected him to honor Paul’s request and forgive Onesimus.  This request may have included an expectation for Philemon to release Onesimus from slavery, and the church would watch to see whether Philemon would listen.  But even more than watching, the church would help Philemon determine his response.  They would speak into his life, would give their advice and encouragement, would challenge him to respond appropriately.

Paul saw the church as a body working together; its members were tied together permanently, forming a community that did life together.  They were not individuals who all happened to go to church so they shared something in common; they were a community, a body, who shared everything in common.  In Paul’s view, addressing the church along with Philemon was perfectly appropriate, because it was a community decision.  Not only was Onesimus from their community and not only would his status affect all of them, but because Philemon was a member of the church, his decisions affected the entire body.  His decisions were not his own…

Philemon was constrained by his community.  Though we like to speak a lot in our culture about our personal rights and our personal choices and our personal decisions, if we want to be a part of Christ’s body we must in some sense give up on some of these personal boundaries.  We must be willing to have our freedoms constrained, our lives observed, and our decisions challenged.

What do you think about this idea?  What is most challenging about it?


Are you willing to share your “personal” decisions with the community you follow Christ with?  Are you willing to be constrained by your community?


Spend some time asking God to break down the walls that might be in your heart around this issue.  Ask him to give you great humility, to be willing to lay down your rights and submit to your Christian brothers and sisters in your decisions.



Day 3: Forgiving, and then Embracing

“We must not think evil of this man.”

The quote above was uttered by the grandfather of a little girl ruthlessly shot and murdered by Charles Roberts in 2006.  This man killed five little girls on that day for no reason, and then he killed himself.  Totally senseless.  I cannot imagine the rage I would feel if that were my little girl.  I cannot imagine how I’d even continue to function.  In the aftermath, it was not the killings that got the most attention, but the response of the Amish community that had been attacked and had lost five of its children.  People were flabbergasted at their response, one of immediate forgiveness.  I confess that I, as a follower of Christ, could not even resonate with their response.  I knew they were responding in the way Christ would, but I wanted revenge for them.  My anger at and disgust for this man and what he had done was greater than any desire to forgive him.

Yet the Amish community did not take a couple years to hate this man and then slowly offer forgiveness after they had a chance to heal.  Incredibly, they offered instant forgiveness.  And not only did they offer forgiveness from afar, in theory.  They went to the wife and parents of the killer and literally embraced them, expressing love and forgiveness to them. Amish community members visited and comforted them. One Amish man held Roberts’ sobbing father in his arms, reportedly for as long as an hour, to comfort him.  Marie Roberts, the widow of the killer, wrote an open letter to the Amish community, saying, “Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you’ve given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.”

Can you imagine embracing those who have wronged you terribly?  How difficult is it to forgive those who have abused you, taken advantage of you, stolen from you, or slandered you?  When you are eventually able to forgive, how difficult is it to go to the next step and actually embrace the ones who have most deeply wronged you?



This is the next lesson we learn from this short letter from Paul to Philemon: as Christians, we are called both to forgive and to embrace those who have wronged us.  There is no room for revenge among those who follow Christ.  There is no room for grudges.  As we have been forgiven lavishly, we must forgive lavishly.  As we have been embraced by God after our sin led to Jesus’ death, we are called to embrace others whose sin leads to our pain.

It is clear from Paul’s letter that Onesimus had greatly wronged Philemon.  If not, Paul would not have spent so much time imploring Philemon to forgive him.  He clearly had done him wrong and owed him a great debt (v. 18), yet Paul asks him to instantly let it go.  Erase it.  Forget it.  Then he asks him to go a step further.

Do you remember being a child and having to “make up” with your sibling or another child with whom you had a fight?  I remember being able to mutter the words “sorry” or “I forgive you” without much problem.  But when my parents asked me to go a step further and “give him a hug,” that’s where it became challenging.  Hugging someone is a vulnerable position, a position of trust and openness.  That’s what Paul was asking Philemon to do.  Don’t just say you forgive him—go a step further.  Embrace him.  Show him love.  Treat him as a dear brother, as a loved one.  In order to embrace someone from the heart, there can be no more residue of anger or bitterness or hostility.  You cannot hold someone at bay any longer; with an embrace you are letting them back in, choosing to trust them again.

Clearly there are times in abusive relationships where we must choose to protect our hearts and hold someone at bay, even if we forgive them.  But for the most part, we must both forgive and embrace those who have wronged us. 

What is most difficult about this for you?  Do you think you could get to the point where you are able to embrace those who have most wronged you?  What steps do you need to take to begin offering real forgiveness to those who have hurt you?



Spend some time in prayer, asking God both to forgive you for all the ways you have wronged others and to help you forgive those who have wronged you.



Day 4: No Right to Retribution

In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant.  The basic gist of the parable is that the servant of a very powerful king owed the king a great sum he could not pay.  In order to recoup some of the debt, the king ordered the man and his family to be sold.  The servant begged the king on his knees to have mercy, and the king was moved.  He canceled the man’s great debt and let him go! 

Then the servant left and saw a fellow servant who owed him a small debt by comparison.  He grabbed the man and began to choke him, yelling at him to pay up.  The man begged him for mercy, but he refused and had him thrown in prison until he could pay.  When the king heard about this, he was very angry and threw that ungrateful servant in prison until he paid back every penny he owed.  Jesus concludes by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (Matt. 18:35). 

This is not a true story and is a parable to get a point across, but it seems that Jesus is saying that as God has forgiven us without making us first pay for what we have done, we ought to forgive others without requiring retribution, without ensuring they have paid for their sins.  The one who is wronged must offer forgiveness before that person is punished, even before that person admits their fault or asks forgiveness.

This is also a way of thinking and living that is very contrary to the dominant viewpoint of our culture.  In our culture, we have the right to hold accountable those who have cheated us or hurt us or abused us or stolen from us.  We have the right to sue them, hurt them back, or, at the least, shut them out of our lives. 

This aspect of our culture is not too different from the culture of Paul’s day.  Though his culture was much more based on honor and shame, so that if one had dishonored another he would be shamed until he repented, the same principle applied: retribution for wrongs was the norm.  But in his letter to Philemon (and in many other places in his writings), Paul challenges Philemon to lay down his right to retribution.  Though as his owner Philemon had the right to punish Onesimus harshly for what he had done, Paul says to completely let it go.  He tells him to release his right to retribution.

Many think Paul gave this word to Philemon because Onesimus had become a Christian in his absence.  Since he was now a follower of Christ and a brother in the Lord to Philemon, Philemon must offer forgiveness to him.  Many also say Paul is instructing Philemon to release Onesimus from his bonds of slavery because he is a believer and there are to be no such boundaries between believers. 

But I think it goes beyond this.  I think giving up our right to retribution applies also to those who are not believers.  Surely when Jesus said that if someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also, he was not speaking about something done by a fellow believer.  Or when he says that if someone steals your cloak, offer him your tunic as well, surely he was not speaking about relationships within the community of faith.  He displayed this in ultimate fashion when he asked God to forgive those who crucified him.  His mockers, his tormenters, his killers, he instantly forgave.  He laid down his right to retribution.  In the same way, Paul instructs Philemon to excuse the wrongs Onesimus had done. 

We are also called to give up our right to revenge.  We are also called to forgive without ensuring punishment for those who have wronged us.  It is challenging for all of us who are a part of our culture to give up rights, but our right to revenge and retribution is one that all Christians must lay down.

What is most difficult about giving up your right to revenge?


What emotion do you feel when you are called to forgive, even though the person who wronged you has not apologized or shown remorse?


Have you ever felt the great freedom and joy that comes with offering forgiveness in this way?


Ask God for the strength not to claim your rights but to give them up, especially your right to retribution.  Ask him for the strength to forgive as he has forgiven you.



Day 5: Submitting to Forgiveness

It is common to think mostly of Philemon when we read this letter, since the entire book is addressed to him, and since Paul’s requests all rest firmly on his shoulders.  But I think we can also learn an important lesson from thinking of Onesimus in this situation.

He had done something pretty terrible, and all were in agreement that he was in the wrong.  Paul, clearly a huge fan of Onesimus, admits that he had a big debt.  And now Onesimus is being sent back to the one he has wronged, to submit again to him.  Sure, he was hoping that Philemon listened to Paul and forgave him, but that may not have happened.  And even if it did, submitting to him again after what had occurred had to be extremely difficult.

I think one of the main reasons people who have committed terrible sins against others do not apologize is not because they are not sorry for what they have done but because apologizing is one of the hardest things we must do in life.  Walking up to someone we have wronged in a big way and saying sorry—submitting to them in the process—is harder, in some cases, even than forgiving a great wrong.  This is what Onesimus was asked to do by Paul.  Walk back to your master, the one you have wronged, the one who has the legal right to take great vengeance on you, the one who has surely been very angry with you—and submit to him.  Admit what you have done.  And accept whatever his response to your actions is.  That’s tough!

It might be easier to be a hero, to offer forgiveness and have others marvel at your grace and mercy.  But to ask for forgiveness and to allow another to forgive you is an act of great humility.  It is unglamorous, and can be painful.  Yet if we are to become the community of believers God has called us to be, we have to excel at submitting to each other.  We must get used to going to those we have wronged, whether our offense is small or great, and submitting to them humbly, not knowing whether they will immediately offer forgiveness or not. 

How are you doing at submitting to others and asking for forgiveness?  What is the most difficult part of this for you?



What difference could it make in our church if we all embraced humility in this area and excelled at going to one another and submitting to being forgiven of wrongs?  What difference could it make in our families?  In our neighborhoods?  In our places of work?





Jesus speaks clearly about the need for us to be reconciled to one another.  Something that has always bothered me about his words in Matthew 5 has to do with going to someone to resolve an issue if they have something against me.  He says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).  I have never liked the way this verse calls on me to go to someone else if they might be upset with me.  I always sort of twist the verse around in my mind to mean that if I am holding a grudge against someone else I need to get it fixed.  But that’s not what Jesus is saying here. 

He is saying that if anyone has anything against us, if we have hurt someone else in any way, we should stop whatever we are doing (even leaving a time of worshiping God) and go to that person and work it out.  We ought to apologize and submit to them and ask forgiveness.  As Christians, we do not have the luxury of blazing through relationships and assuming all is fine unless someone comes to us and tells us we hurt them.  We must be more caring than that, more attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around us.  And if we hurt others, we must not wait for them to tell us so—we must go to them and make it right.  We must submit to forgiveness…

Spend some time asking God to make it clear in your mind and heart if you have hurt anyone, and ask him for the strength to go to that person and make it right…

Pray for whatever else is on your heart…


[1] Ben Witherington, The letters to Philemon, the Colossians, and the Ephesians: a socio-rhetorical commentary on the captivity Epistles (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2007), 54.
[2] Witherington, 55.

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